Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
- Jeff Lynne/Tom Petty, “I Won’t Back Down”
Powerful words. Hopefully, powerful enough to make you stop and think: what principles are central to my being, to my core. What would I stand up for at the gates of a metaphorical earthly hell? It’s likely that you cannot easily rattle off what your core principles or values are. You know them intrinsically. You feel them in your body when something is occurring that is inconsistent with your principles, and you know the state of calm and peace that exists when your actions are in alignment with your principles.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines principle as “a moral rule or belief that helps you know what is right or wrong and that influences your actions.” Our principles inform us in our everyday lives. Our principles inform us about what we do professionally. Who we work for. What we are willing to go along with or endure within our workplace. What we will look for in the next position we seek. Whether our principles are in alignment those of our co-workers. Whether our principles are in alignment with those who lead us or consistent with the core values of our employer.
I recall a person who was let go from their company after many years. Based upon what happened to them, they had an epiphany about how bad their company was. In fact, the company was bad for quite a bit of time, but the person just chose to ignore it while they were part of team company. That’s just one example of how our principles will vary in terms of adherence to them. Some principles may be flexible to stretch or ignore depending on the circumstances (one might call that situational principles). Other principles may be core to who we are and thus non-negotiable. The principles that are core to who we are will likely be present throughout several domains of our lives.
It is equally important to identify those principles that may not be serving you well. Rather than creating boundaries for you or serving to protect you, they might be preventing or limiting your growth and self-development. Principles can be used as a false “blanket-rule” not to do something, or not consider doing something that you have not done before. Principles can also serve as “proxies” that are keeping you from being stretched (in a good way) beyond your normal boundaries.
Your principles may have been unknowingly adopted by you from nurture or environment. It is amazing the number of things in our lives – including principles – that we believe we have intelligently assented to. Much of who we are, what we do, what we like, and what we believe are products of our upbringing and our life experiences. The era in which we were raised (think The Great Depression), the community we were raised (think small agricultural town v. Big City), our family, politics, and religion, all play a part in the formation of who we are.
However, we now have agency over ourselves and we must do the deep work, the self-examining work, to determine who we are today, and who we will be tomorrow. You now have the great power and opportunity to see what is serving you well and what you need to let go of. What principles will you choose to live by, live with, or dispense with? In all circumstances our principles can guide us in our actions and help us live The Meaningful Life.
Reflection Questions:
What are the sources (family, community, experience, religion, etc.) that have contributed to the formation of your principles?
What principles do you hold that are serving you well?
What principles are you holding onto that may be obstacles to your growth?
What new principles might you consider embracing that will contribute to your growth?